Normally I would be posting another entry in my “Memoirs of a Geek” series. But it’s been a weird week. We have a wedding to go to on the weekend. We have a relative who is spending a couple of nights here. It hasn’t been one of my better weeks in terms of my mental health.
Instead, I will post a follow-up to my original post about the Justice League Snyder Cut. I watched the Snyder Cut last Saturday. Right after the movie ended I revisited my list to see how the movie lived up to the expectations I had.
*Spoiler Warning! Read at your own risk*
- Making a mediocre movie longer will not make it better. Justice League wasn’t a horrible film. It was dull and suffered from what I consider lazy writing and characters. I don’t expect the Snyder Cut to improve this movie from blah to good. I think it will be a longer blah movie.
I was correct. Making the Justice League twice as long did not change the fact that the story wasn’t good. The main antagonist was uninteresting. It took way too long to assemble the hero squad. There were several things I think Snyder Cut did better. However, the whole thing just took so long, that by the end the only thing I felt was happy to have it over. The problem is, a mediocre action film is an okay experience with normal movie runtimes. It has good moments, then the rest you can pay half attention to until the end credits. BUT when that time is extended it gets harder and harder to pay attention to something not interesting. That extra effort required to watch Snyder Cut makes it a frustrating film. Like a lecture with a professor who decides to talk about the history of calculus for 3½ hours before he uses the last 20 minutes to teach something.
- The movie is four hours long! That is so stupidly long for one film. There better be a legit frame with the word “Intermission” around the midpoint of the movie for snack refills and bathroom breaks.
There was not a frame with “Intermission”. I was honestly disappointed. There were shots with Parts 1-6 throughout the film. Which is equally pretentious without the utility of a break. And if any cinematic experience ever needed a break, it’s Snyder Cut. Maybe in the extra pretentious black and white version, there is one. But I’m not watching it to find out.
- The Joker will make an appearance and won’t be a lame version of the character. (I already know the Joker will show up but I don’t know anything else about him.)
I like how the Joker was characterized in this. He was chaotic and unstable. There was a sense of logic despite his twisted sanity. Joker also clearly portrayed emotions, both sick joy at messing with Batman and genuine disturbance at Harley Quin’s death. This is what I had hoped for.
- The Joker’s role will have a significant impact on the story or at least on Batman’s backstory.
ARRRRGGHHHH!!! You finally bring in the Joker and it’s only one scene at the end, IN A DREAM SEQUENCE!!! I was so angry at this. I’m still angry at this. You guys finally made a decent Joker and it’s just a teaser for later films which won’t happen. Sigh.
- The alien big bad, uh… (Google search in progress) Steppenwolf will be a more interesting villain than he was in the original. It’s too much to hope that he would be ditched entirely.
He was equally boring in both versions of Justice League. But in Snyder Cut, you get the disgusting, horrifying image of Steppenwolf without his armor. Why was this necessary? Why would you hurt your audience like this?
- Cringey quippy dialog. It happened in the original Justice League I think it will still happen in the Snyder Cut. Hopefully, it will occur to a lesser degree or in a way that doesn’t feel as forced. Normally I like funny quippy dialog, but this movie did not do it well.
They improved this. In Snyder Cut, the quips aren’t as cringey. I think they also occur less frequently too. Either way, well done. Except for the scene when Aquaman sat on the Lasso of Truth. It might have required several leaps of logic, but it was both funny and served as minor character development.
- Superman will still be used as a cheap deus ex machina. I mean, the dude’s so overpowered most villains don’t have any hope of putting up a decent fight let alone winning.
I was right. He still is a deus ex machina for the final battle. Heroes are about to lose and then, Bang! Superman shows up. At least the final solution of destroying the Unity was up to Flash and Cyborg. It did improve the narrative of the last battle.
- Cyborg won’t be as brooding. This is more of a hope than an expectation. Because I was hoping for a Cyborg character like the one in the original (and best) Teen Titans animated series. I was supremely disappointed by this version of him. Not a single “Booyah!”… it was very sad.
Cyborg did start equally angsty and broody at the beginning and through most of the movie. In the end, he did seem to accept his new state of being. I thought his relationship with his father and the shock of his death was done better than the original. Oh, and through rewatching the honest trailer and cinema sins for Justice League, I found out I was wrong. Cyborg did say “Booyah” in the original. I forgot. I guess I was disappointed that this Cyborg wasn’t like the Teen Titans Cyborg. He is Cyborg but not my Cyborg.
- It’s been a while since I’ve seen Justice League, so I’m not going to remember this accurately. There is that one scene when Batman and the Flash are talking about how fear powers the enemies (or something like that). But somehow Flash’s fear didn’t do anything? It just didn’t make any sense. In the Snyder Cut, I expect that will change so it logically makes sense.
This part is gone in Snyder Cut. Clearly, they also realized the plot hole and got rid of it. Good choice.
- The scene of Superman attacking the rest of the heroes will be changed significantly. It felt unrealistic considering Superman’s nature. It was unnecessary drama padding out the content of the movie.
I think the length of their fight with Superman was shorter. Otherwise, it’s still unnecessary drama. Goodness knows, this film clearly needed more padding.
- Diana will have a bigger role in the movie. Or at the very least, her role will be more memorable. For the life of me, I cannot remember what she did.
Her role didn’t seem that different from the first time. The movie spent more time with its new characters as her story has been established in other films. Diana’s fight scenes were pretty good.
- Batman will still be a serious, brooding, easily mockable character.
I was right. He was an okay Batman and I had fun with occasionally mocking him. I think the character Batman is inherently mockable. It’s part of the Batman charm.
- I remember not liking Lois Lane in the original movie. So I hope that she will get a less annoying characterization.
She did not. Her role was to pine for Superman until he showed up. Then once he appeared her role was supporting him. When a movie is about superheroes fighting an alien invasion, I don’t want to be constantly taken out of that narrative to see a woman dealing with grief. Understandably, she’s suffering from a deep personal loss and it’s correct to portray that. However, when the entire world is at stake, I don’t care. There are more important things to focus on. Also, her entire character was framed around Superman. It felt like lazy writing to make a female character’s importance revolve around her relationship with a guy.
- The Flash will make his appearance in the Snyder Cut faster than he did in the original.
I think so? The whole thing is so much longer than the original Justice League. Plot-wise, I think Barry was introduced and became relevant sooner.
- Finally, I expect that my opinions on the Snyder Cut will end up offending someone. Because I highly doubt this movie will be worth all the effort it took fans to get it. Guess I’ll find out in the comments section.
I think it’s pretty clear I didn’t like this movie. While there are parts I enjoyed for the most part I didn’t like it. Snyder Cut is an endurance test of attention and I didn’t appreciate it. It might be the movie we asked for, but it’s not the movie we deserve.
*Image does not belong to me. It is the final frame of Snyder Cut. I added the text.
Geek Aporia 